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Keeping Your Family Member Safe

Alzheimer's Agony: How Do You Know It's Time To Put Your Parent In A Nursing Home?

15 January 2019

Debbie Rodriguez

If your parent is in the early stages of Alzheimer's disease, you and your family may not be faced with too many agonizing decisions; however, once the disease progresses, it can turn your entire world upside down and inside out. At some point, your mom or dad is going to need more help than your family can offer. How do you know when your parent has reached that stage? What do you do then?

Memory Loss Is Causing Your Parent To Lose Their Way

While anyone can get lost, especially in new territory, a person with Alzheimer's will lose their way in their own neighborhood or even forget where they were going completely. This leaves them in danger of getting lost, being victimized, or even tangling with traffic. 

Forgetfulness Is Endangering Someone

If your mom or dad is forgetting to turn off the stove, forgetting to take life-saving medicine, or forgetting anything else that puts them or someone else in danger, it's a good time to consider assisted living or a nursing home. 

Your Parent Has Become Aggressive In Some Way

Some with Alzheimer's undergo personality changes, which can be the most difficult aspect of the disease for surrounding loved ones. If your parent has become aggressive or mean, especially if they lash out, either physically or verbally, it may be best for everyone involved if your parent is moved to a thoughtful and caring environment where they can receive the level of supervision appropriate for their condition. 

Insomnia And/Or Sundowners Syndrome Has Set In

Some with this dreadful disease become insomniac or more active at the end of the day, referred to as Sundowners, and this can be quite a burden on caregiving families. Just as the day is ending and the sun sets, you'll notice a flurry of busyness that disrupts everyone else around. Talk to a professional about this behavior and be extra vigilant watching your parent.

There's No Family Member Who Can Be With Them All The Time

Whether your mom or dad is living in their own home or yours, if someone can't be with them at all times, eventually, Alzheimer's will make it impossible for them to be alone. If numerous incidents are occurring, such as your parent getting lost, developing unexplained bruises, losing valuables, or otherwise worrying you, and no family member can step in, a nursing home may be a much safer option. 

The Personal And Medical Care Needs Of Your Parent Have Escalated

Caregivers are angels on earth, but they can only take so much. Once the medical, physical and emotional needs of a person with this disease have exceeded what their family can handle, a professional needs to be involved and most likely, your parent will need to be transferred to a (hopefully local) facility that can meet all of their needs.

That Little Voice Inside You Is Telling You "It's Time"

You may be in denial or you may be so accustomed to doing everything for your parent yourself that you're not facing the reality that they need outside help, but there's that little voice inside of you, nudging its way out and struggling to be heard. Listen to that voice, for your parent's sake, as well as your own and that of your family.

When Alzheimer's becomes too much for caregivers, it's time to contact the professionals at a nursing home or assisted living facility that offers memory care. Finding quality care for your parent once the agony of Alzheimer's has really taken hold is the best thing for everyone, including you. Research the place your mom or dad will be living, so you always know they're getting the best possible care, and be sure to visit when you can. At a certain point, Alzheimer's becomes as painful and debilitating to the family members giving care as it is to the victim of the disease, so stay strong, seek support, and let the professionals take over. 

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